Dating
by gilmattie
Summary: Prucan oneshot examining their relationship, and wondering if it's enough (style a la David Levithan. If you like him, you'll probably like this). I could also describe this with the Shakespeare quote about the course of true love never running smooth, but that's cliche, so I won't. Enjoy...!


**(Here I am, channelling a little David Levithan. Know of him? Great. Don't? It doesn't matter, because you can still read this tiny thing with no problems. However... Have you ever looked up his quotes on like, Goodreads? They're so deep...! Reading his books is a great experience. If gay things excite you, then you should check out literally any book by him. I promise. It's awesome.)**

 **(That said, we do not own the general idea of David Levithan's beautiful gay atmosphere or any of this Hetalia stuff, so... yeah.)**

* * *

Gilbert Beilschmidt was not allowed to date Matthew Williams.

It wasn't clear who had decided this first. All the people who knew that they were together disapproved of them, and those who didn't know likely _would_. Their allies were few and far between. Most of the time, all Gilbert heard was 'nein'.

He didn't know what exact thing he'd done to put on the FACE family's bad side, but no one except Matthew could tolerate him. Rumours grew and spread around him—that he didn't know what he was doing, or what he wanted; he was using Matthew, he didn't care about him, he cared about him in the wrong way. He was 'confused', he was poison, he was dangerous, he was weak. Each story contradicted the next, and some faded, while some didn't. Soon enough, a web of current or half-dead rumours shrouded him until he couldn't see well enough to interpret the moves of his enemies.

He didn't give up.

But... in a way, the family was right. Just, not in the way they thought.

Gilbert had failed Matthew numerous times, on different counts of being in a relationship with him. Sometimes he forgot how lonely the Canadian could get, sometimes he wasn't there for him. Gilbert prioritised his own needs over those of his secret boyfriend, he snapped at him, he didn't listen. He got into moods and expected his Birdie to deal with it and get him out. He hated himself for every time he violated the kind boy's trust or made him hurt, even long after the Canadian—so lovingly—forgave him every time. Why Matthew even put up with him was a mystery... But he was so, so glad he did, because that boy was his air. Anyone who hurt Mattie would get their punishment straight from him, and he wouldn't hold back, either—unless his Birdie asked him to.

—

Matthew Williams was not allowed to date Gilbert Beilschmidt.

Not that he was allowed to date anyone at all, but certainly not Gilbert. The Prussian was much worse for him than nobody, so he was told. And the Prussian was told so too, over and over in screaming voices by his papa, his father, his brother; even the whole Germanic family. Gilbert didn't listen to a word of it.

Matthew had asked Gilbert to be with him once before, and the boy had laughed and told him no. It broke Mattie's heart, but he'd handled it well enough that the other didn't even notice. And the pale boy had felt _so_ bad when Matthew finally told him—he was so much better, kinder than everyone thought.

But as much as the Canadian tried to show everyone else, all they could see was a _fucking wreck_. They opponents threw labels at him, to his face, behind his back. At first Matthew tried to correct it, he fought back—but eventually he grew tired. He became scared that their relationship wasn't working. He argued with Gilbert, he argued with his family, he locked himself in his room at night. He choked up when he tried to tell the Prussian he loved him… but he insisted it was all fine.

 _Maybe_ , Matthew thought, _it would be better if we weren't together—_

Of course, that was excluding the part where Gil promised that he'd commit suicide if Mattie abandoned him.

—

But they tried. They tried so hard. They made time for each other, gave one another silly gifts and played video games and walked in the Canadian woods. They celebrated both of their birthdays every year, even as their families told them that _they as a unit_ wouldn't last. They shared so many kisses, and more. Sometimes less.

Sometimes it all felt like enough. It couldn't always feel like enough, but they had good moments. The moments they lived for… the ones they'd never give up. Mattie loved Gil, and Gil loved Mattie, and sometimes that was enough.

* * *

 **(Gil hasn't even read this yet. Oops. Anyway, we sorta didn't work on the chapters we were going to publish so here we are.)**

 **(I feel like this sort of, mundane angstiness, isn't something that's portrayed in Prucan a lot...? Usually it seems that they get on pretty well, or Gilbert is the problem. So I suppose I wanted to look at how that could be different. Or whatever. It's really late here, so this honestly might not even make sense. But you could review! To let me know! How do you feel about the problem-dynamics of the pairing, not just in this fic but maybe in others you've read?  
...Thanks, guys. See you soon.)**


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